BA Pass

See I don’t want to brag but me being a fatherless child never thought of crossing the line for a few quick buck. Whenever you become a responsibility of somebody else than your own parents the reality is never pretty. In very rare cases you get to lead a normal happy life. But that doesn’t mean you have to go on the wrong path.

Now coming to the movie plot. As you can already understand that basically the movie is about giving pleasure for money. For a change this is not about a girl it is about a young or you can even say a very young boy who has two lil sisters and somehow their parents manage to die to let them be orphans.

The protagonist is cute looking next door kind of a guy. He is a shy person and loves to play chess. But the thing is I always used to think that those who are good in chess they must be pretty intelligent as well. He is not. So to say he is dumb. Falls in love or may be lust with a cougar. She uses him for sex and then she becomes his pimp.

There are innumerable number of steamy erotic scenes that will compel you to be uncomfortable. But the worst part is why to name that guy Mukesh. I mean whenever I hear this name Mukesh I remember that Dhumrapan Sehat K Liye hani karak hai and that dying half mouth Mukesh comes up in my mind.

Anyhoo, I thought the director could have given it a touch of light at the end of the dark tunnel and not end it with death. Because that’s not only tragic but selfish as those two sisters for who he started off all these they would be doomed to the same fate now.

Fiction…. A character can be glorified and another can be doomed without and 2^nd thought that’s a power like God.

There is no point in watching this movie but the Mrs Khurana has acted phenomenally well as in all her movies. It was a pleasant watch when Deepti Naval came on screen. I kept on hoping she returns as a crusader and saves the young chap. But in a way if the story went that way I would have still criticized it to be TOO FILMY. All in all the darkness ate up the movie you don’t have much to discuss about as its not deep you don’t have a fun gossip about it as its dark and yaa the steamy scenes c’mon those are now very common to everyone who has an access to internet.

I won’t say I wasted my time watching it but if anyone misses to see this movie don’t take any extra pain in finding time to see it.

Thanks and keep on reading and keep smiling.

Beneath

The promotional statement for this movie should have been "Wanna watch a c grade version of the movie JAWS, then watch Beneath!!!". Yaa, it was horror genre indeed because I was horrified with the disgusting looking artificial fish, the dumb ass high school  pass outs and their mindless idea of adventure. All in all it was a crass movie.

A guy owns a lake which breeds a flesh eating fish and he takes his friends or a farewell party in the lake. Well it definitely turned to be a farewell - From Life!

Funny thing I noticed that the guy called Jhonny actually looked like Kunal Khemu. And funnier thing is, Kunal and his look alike, they both do crappy cinema.

That other girl was not required for the plot. (although the plot itself was pretty much not required, anyways moving on).

The geek was smart but it would have been fun if he was kept for some more time because I thought he was the only person who understood what acting meant in the entire movie.

Jhonny did not have much dialogues I believe the director had seen Kunal Khemu's acting and he did not have any hopes at all from his look alike.

Kitty Kat - name is so cheesy. I hated that girl. She was not hot. She was just another blonde who managed to make every guy in the movie go mad about her. Now only if she had that conviction in her acting.

The two brother were good looking.. A little treat for my eyes I would say. But they were so pathetic at times that they were actually shouting at the fish and asking the fish what that creep wants? I mean dude it's an artificial fish. I have a big doubt that when the movie was shot that whether there was any screenplay writer or even better I believe it was pretty much self shot without a director.


I don't know why they turned one of the brothers into a psychopath. I don't know why that creepy man was waiting at the shore when he knew that his beloved Jhonny was out there.

Ohh yes I forgot another dumb scene in the movie. The kids were actually trying to scare the fish with crackers. Ya fire crackers. And just take a wild guess how they were doing this huge task. They were lighting the firecrackers and they were throwing them in the water. I don't know which school they passed out from but as per my knowledge water extinguishes fire. But it was hilarious.

All in all I regret the fact that I wasted my time watching this movie. But I pretty much liked writing about it because I had so much bad to say about it.

They wanted to show survival of the fittest they accomplished it as I somehow survived through the entire movie.

Its my earnest request please do not watch this movie ever. And if you really hate someone tie them up to a chair and make them watch this movie. They will surely suffer to the extreme.

Thanks For Reading!!!

FADING GIGOLO

Love the saxophone and the jazz music at the beginning of the movie it gives the movie such a vintage feel.

Personally I do not like Woody Allen. Well you can I don’t get the comedy that he portrays so I can’t relate to his movies. But this movie seemed to me different may be because of its name or may be because of its story.

The story revolves around a middle aged man who used to work in a book store but the owner decides to close the shop. This owner is a good friend of the man and he pursues him to become a gigolo to make some lady happy. Things turn into something else and the story starts to boil up.

Life is all about unexpected series of events which slowly molds your entire future. So this virtual guy loses his job and somehow manages to become the sexiest gigolo in town. But then of course he falls in love with a damsel in distress and he becomes the knight in the shining armor and brings the best out of this damsel. To his dismay the damsel only takes this as a service and not as real affection and she actually confesses her sins and happily goes away with the policeman.

Now where does woody allen comes in the picture. Well he is the pimp and he creates his own magic with the witty dialogues that he delivers. He makes dirty jokes with his clients but when he cracks a joke it’s simply lovely.

I personally do not see a proper dimension in the movie. Because the aspect of turning into a gigolo is vague and somewhat unnecessary for me. Yes, it’s true that as he was a gigolo you can watch a few steamy scene in the movie but then again I don’t find them as relevant as I thought it would be.

I am not ashamed of calling myself dumb but seriously I don’t get the Allen movies. Why I liked this particular movie is firstly because of its name secondly because of its protagonist (he is surely a man ;) and you know what I am talking about) thirdly for the jokes that Woody Allen cracks (only those which I could understand) and lastly for the foreign language (I believe it was French) which was used in a poetic manner here and there in the movie. These things were lovely.

In totality I won’t say you must watch it but not a bad movie. If you are a movie buff like me definitely your time won’t be wasted watching it.

Thanks for reading.

DELIVERY MAN

Now I really liked the movie Vicky Donor but now I can’t say that anymore. I love this movie really.

The concept is nearly the same need of money sperm donation and later on revelation of n number of children who wants to meet their biological father.

 Although it was meant to be a comedy movie but I being an emotional drama queen, actually sobbed a few times.

So the acting was good not a doubt in it.  But the storyline and the entire plot the weaving of the scenes and the connectivity was awesome. It was heart melting how the movie had a happy ending turning it into a fairy tale.

The part of the girlfriend was unnecessary till the time in the hospital when all the 533 children came to visit the new born that was sweet.

The best friend come counsel was a bit too shabby and not a well sketched character. He could have been better other than that everything was great.

I really adored a few of the kids they looked gooood.. ;)

I would surely recommend everyone to watch it. Because its sweet and loving and it actually is good for all the guys out there who are afraid of commitments as it shows that settling down is not all bad.

It’s definitely a keep it movie for me. Although I did not have much constructive to say about this movie but it’s a good time film which you can enjoy without anything to worry.

Thanks for reading.

About Last Night

Relationships are definitely messy. Everybody goes through it so the movie has that instant connection once the actual plot starts off.

The movie does not have the star attraction in the casting section but I believe the female protagonist “Debby” has actually done a commendable job.

The character Dan is not as good looking as the story claims but OK better than his joker friend “Bernie”.

But I would say I was entirely impressed by Debbie’s friend and on and off roommate “Joan”.

Although I have seen her in a few other movies as well but her presence on the scene has definitely worked as a glue.

The plot is very simple. It simply states the complications that a boy and a girl goes through once they actually starts a real relationship.

The compromises, the restrictions, the silence and finally the constant arguments. In midst of all this still there is love somewhere but the question is whether they find it or not.

1^st part is really slow. But then the interest grows as the movie progresses. I just remembered the best part for me was the song of Bruno Mars when the split happens and also I simply loved the gesture when Dan brought the puppy for Debbie on the next day of the disastrous Thanksgiving.

Overall I liked it. Will I watch it again?? Aaahhh... Nay!! One time watch. Well what can I say, I have set a high standard for movies? :P

Final verdict: Keep it, to show it to the person you love so that you can have a topic of discussion when you have the long night chats.

Keep reading and keep smiling.

A Haunted House 2

I can't think of where to start from. 

Ohk let's start with the good points. The list is short but still. A few dialogues are truly funny. All Nigga stuff. No pun intended. The spooks were quite terrifying at times. Actually i was startled by a few scenes myself.

The acting is too loud but I believe the script demanded that so each and every character actually nailed it. But the best part was when it was over.

Now the negative points. The film was definitely a spoof of all the horror genre recent movies. But it came nothing near to The Scary Movies series. There was hardly any real comic timing. The bed scenes were ultra gross.

I actually had to skip ahead. Truly speaking I had to skip ahead many a few times in the movie. Best performance was given by the doll which was shit scary looking. Very racist movie. Extremely boring at times. Repetitive scenes with the boogeyman. And the main exorcism did not have any link with the videos that Malcolm found.

It was definitely a trash movie. 

Love Flies..

Well you might call this another sad attempt of a review on a movie but I would like to write something else tonight. This is about love.

I heard in some movie this line, although I don't remember which movie it was but I definitely remember the line. It went something like this. " Love is all pretty for the first few days. This is the time you like to lock yourself up just the two of you and build beautiful memories. Then after few days when you finally open the doors and windows the first thing that flies away from the room is the love or the romance and only thing that's left is a relationship."

Rough!! But extremely true. I am not a pessimistic kind of a person nor an anti-love crusader but just a realistic. May be I was an overtly romantic that what turned me into realistic who knows? When you fall in love you genuinely adore your better half but to go ahead and make the relationship last only love and adoration is not enough. We sometimes forget that grand gestures also mean a lot. 

Kaho na pyaar hai... A hopeless romantic movie.. MAYBE A BIT TOO HOPELESS????

Ohk keh dia Pyaar Hai.. I might have seen this movie more than 50 times and every time I take a deep breath and hope that one day all the guys on the street would come on cycles and look like our own Desi Greek God...

May be if I start writing about this movie I won't be able to end this blog. So, I have decided I will write the funny unrealistic moments of the movie.

1. No PG aunty is as sweet as Fareeda Jalal.

2. A chauffeur driven car and a cycle has the same speed. In which world is that possible. May be in Rakesh Roshan's world.

3. I might not have visited all the showrooms in our country but I am dead sure that nowhere a salesman can look as gorgeous as our Greek God.

4. A boat kept nearly 200-300 metres away from a beach house where party is going on. Suddenly the music goes off and a guy starts singing ( not screaming but politely singing) from that boat HO HO... Aaha Ahhaa haa... and everybody at the party can hear him. Loudspeakers and mic waalon here your business goes for a toss.

5.  Making viewers believe Ameesha Patel can act. Ohh C'mon NO ULLU BANAUNGI!!!

6. Who says Heyy Baby!! was the worst dressed movie.. Look at Ameesha, Vidya would look much better in her movie..

7. To be cotd..

Mastram

Yes I am 18+ and I am definitely allowed to see this. The movie is definitely bad but I liked the concept. If you take an overview everybody knows that this movie is about a porn writer. There is no elite words that I can find in my dictionary to state that. And why should I? Well the movie was exactly on this topic.

Our society is full of hypocrisy. We love something but we can't say that out loud because that's not permissible in our culture. Raja Ram or whatever that hero's name was he changed his name to hide his identity not because he wanted to be some mysterious novelist with pseudo name but out of shame the work he was doing. He was not doing anything bad or illegal as far as I understand because he was just writing stories that everybody loves to read. So, basically he was just following the "Demand-Supply Chain". But, finally when everybody came to know about his identity he was criticized of this kind of behavior which was unacceptable by the society. Although the same society has been shown in the movie enjoying the writings.

There is not much to say about the acting skill and all. Its definitely and positively DELETE IT movie from my collection. Don't bother to watch it... If you have free time then also don't watch it.. You will be more bored by this. I actually took 4 days to complete this one and a half hour LOOOOOONNNGGGG  Movie.. 

Soon I will be back with some other discussions till then Okay Tatta Tatta Byeee...  

Pandemonium of Democracy

I a not sure what has changed exactly since the last election and honestly I am completely clueless about the next 5 years from this election. People around me are talking about there would be a wave of change for betterment. Indian economy is expected to flourish, Indian youth is expected to be 100% employed, Terrorism and Maoism is expected to be eradicated, crimes and criminals are expected to be heavily penalized. But, what for me? How will it make a change for me. Economy is flourishing for the bloody past 60 years or more since independence but the middle class like me is still middle class and rich are getting richer and yes the government every 5 years makes YOJNAS for BPL. So, where am I?? Where is the entire Mango People? We are not BPLs. We are not rich. So, why bother? Right??

I am not saying don't do anything for the poor or let the rich be snatched away from their richness, nor am I complaining about being Middle Class. Its just that our entire constitution is not about taking the entire country towards progress, its more about winning and losing and getting the maximum appreciation.

I am not supporting any one in this election. I know even if I am voting for NOTA then I am wasting my right but what to do, I can't relate to any of the ideologies of any political party. Actually I don't even know most of them. And that's not because I am indifferent towards our plan democracy but I feel the transparency which is required for each common man to understand who would be the correct person to take charge of the country is entirely missing.

Many would say the RTI has been in action for quite a few months now. But, be honest how many of us really know where to get the RTI form or where to submit it or even  if I get something fishy in that report what to do next?? I don't know and I'm sure more than 50% people don't and never bother to. So, answer for transparency can never be RTI.

I know I have dedicated this blogging site of mine entirely for movies but I think we need to share our views regarding everything that is happening around us.

I will keep on posting time to time more thoughts on varied topics and do let me know about your thoughts as well.

Nautanki sala

The starting monologue was kind of copied from the barfi starting song. But not as funny as that.

Film is based on suicidal comedy. A distressed heart broken man saved by a chap and then both their lives fall into a trap. Acting is commendable but as the plot is not so strong that’s why it does not attract much attention neither interest.

To be very honest, you have to be over patient and full vella to watch this movie.  Such a long movie so many sad attempts to make it funny. Even the dumb Tushar in golmal was funnier than the funniest attempt in this movie.

This RP is a total lost case. He wants to be in every single scene in the movie and I don’t understand he looks like a bafoon and still all the three hot girls in the movie are after him.

The worst part “the kiss”. Ewww it was disgusting. Dude get a room. Ayushman  was desperate on screen to kiss this dumbo girl. And without any reason the kiss was prolonged so much so that you will start feeling uncomfortable even when you are watching the movie alone.

I do not have much knowledge regarding theater line but please yaar koi mujhe bata de ki iss bandey k paas 25000 rs aaye kahan se only to buy flowers and that too just to start a conversation. I mean RP is supposed to be a theater actor and how the hell he has such a lot of money.

Weirdest part of the movie the show Ravanleela had already been done 1500 times and in the movie of two and a half painful hours it was performed more that three times still every time houseful. Logo k pass aur koi kaam dhandha nahi hai kya that they come again and again to watch the ridiculous play?

I wish I could say even one positive stuff about this movie other than the music everything total rubbish. And we know the movie’s name but still the actors repeat the “Nautanki Sala” title so many times in the movie that seriously my head started pounding after watching this movie.

Congratulations to myself that I have survived through the entire movie and even after the movie there was 30 mins of behind the scenes.

Feeling sorry for Ramesh Sippy as in the behind the scenes he told that “I know it’s a good movie and we hope the audience appretiates it too”. But extremely sorry sir, I am sure about it you have not seen the movie that’s why you had the high hopes.

Statutory warning: PLEASE DO WATCH THE MOVIE ONLY WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING AT ALL TO DO.

The End

Charlie and the chocolate factory

Every child dreams of a chocolate factory. I at least dreamt of a personal chocolate shop where I can eat as much chocolate I wish. I really hope that this film is been recreated in the 3d form .

I don’t know why only the poor chaps get good fortune,  I mean whats wrong with the middle class people. Are they too boring to make a film about?

I remember when I was a kid every meal time I used to bug my granny to  narrate a story. And the favourite one was a story of a puppy and a kitten and there fishing expedition. This movie always brings back childhood memories.

To make one kid look too good had to present the other kids to be very bad. I loved the part where father keeps hands  covering the ear and everything goes mute. As if that could ever happen. Hahahaha.

I still can’t understand what might be the logic behind the creator who made willy wonka a psycho. If I had written it I would have definitely made him something like santa lovable and cute.

Lumpaland.. Height of madness. One thing that I hate in this movie is the unnecessary songs. That makes the movie boring.

The innovative way the kids were thrown out of the factory was terrific. Heart melting was the granny of that grumpy granpa.

Loved the last line “one thing was absolutely certain that life was never been sweeter.”

Enjoyable movie even for adults. Will make you feel like a child again and will certainly will increase your craving for a good chocolate. I just had one I hope you watch it again soon and have a chocolate too.

The End

David

 

A movie that I actually forgot that it even came out. But by God, what a starting. Awesome song, awesome video, strong actors. I can definitely say I would have many things to say after I have seen the full movie. I am just too excited to watch the movie now. 

Three awesome looking dudes, one is a goon’s right hand, second one is a musician from small town with high hopes and the last one angry drunk macho man. Ufff what a combo.. total eye pleasing.

 Now its turn for the sizzlers on screen. Here comes Noor the sexy  “Naukrani Ki Beti” having an affair with “Accountant Ka Beta”. But please God please, don’t spoil the movie with a shitty song right now. But still it had a song to fill in the lovemaking scene. Good part was that it ended pretty quick.

 The next sizzler is a bit old I presume. But wine tastes better when its old. Right? The drunk’s acting skill is a bit poor. But yupp the rest on the screen are making it up for him. Casting director did a poor job in choosing this guy for the role (whatever his name might be). Oh no I was wrong in this drunk chap’s character is lucky. On one hand he has the Old Monk and now suddenly there’s an entry for Royal Stag. Let’s see what happens next.

 The last sizzler seems to be a cougar. The guitarist has a busy schedule still he has some time to say hi-fi pravachans to a cougar. Let’s hope the story doesn’t turn nasty and stays as sweet as it is till now for the guitarist hippie.

 Suddenly all the three stories get a twist. And all of them become sad stories. Although the part of the drunk man’s love was tried made being funny but the attempt was too pathetic. The deaf and dumb bimbo was intolerable.

 One part of the movie was a bit confusing for me. If the guy in the goon’s family was gay then why did he feel so hurt when his forceful wife was sharing the bed with the protagonist? The story of the goons was very predictable. Barey Baap ki Najayaz Aulaad.

 Hindu beating up Christian was a bit too dramatic. Won’t comment anything still I think that is not possible in a society where media is the king.

 Best part of the movie was at the end where all the stories got interlinked one by one. Awesome cinematography at the end. 

In totality a great watch. But it might not be more that one time watch because the whole story holds the audience because of its weird suspense. And once you have got the ending you might not feel to watch the whole thing again. Hence deleted from my computer.

The End

After Sex

Started watching the movie.. the staring song was nice and soothing still not  so soulful but the animated way the names came up it was really fun.. and the first scene lived upto the name of the story… the best part till now subtitle of the first scene and I quote “Passionate Moaning!!!!”

As per my understanding the first couple interpreted the war between the sexes and the war to prove who is superior and finally love wins.. but not acted well. Emotional scene not catchy at all.

Ohh no.. The same old saga.. Asking a pretty boy to come out of closet and tell everyone he is gay.. come on.. not again.. but still better than the  first story.

<3 LOVED THE 3^RD PART <3 amazing direction.. amazing acting amazing way to show the weirdness of the first time and the worry of the mother and knowing that wow you lost it… Just in one word awesome.

Forbidden Love.. First confession.. a bit erotic and a bit nasty.. a sum of may be a porno for a sixth grader.. gross… eeewww!!!

5^th story how is sex for your grandparents.. it was hard to see them speak. Well it might  be sweet for some people but I was not comfortable looking two old sacks talking about bang bang bang bang.

Something is seriously wrong with this movie every other story is about homosexuality. I mean I know we need to spread awareness but in a single movie so much awareness. And what the …. Is butch and bi..h talk. C’mon. Overacting by the  rockband singer. And I wish the football coach was not a gay.. hehehe

A concept that exists in real life ina bit subtle way I believe. I mean who can get over the Ex so soon. Very small concept and too lengthy a story. The nagging made my head hurt. In short not good..

As far as I knew one night stands don’t have after sex talks. But I liked the concept. Hooking up with a hooker. Oops an escort. As if that makes it dignified. And then it turns out she was acting and it was all a big bad story. I mean c’mon one night stands do not speak so much because they are drunk and they simply pass out.

And that’s the end of the movie. Nice one. I mean time pass types. But could have been better.